Dempsey Andre – Birth Story
At 1:45 on Tuesday, August 24th, things started to feel different. In fact, that morning I had committed to getting a few final things ready for baby, just in case, all the while telling myself that it could be days or even weeks before labor actually began. I styled my hair, and did my nails. You know, the important things. So when my Braxton Hicks, which I’d be having since 20 weeks along, started to gain some consistency, I thought I should make a mental note of the time. By 3:30 they had changed from cute little belly squeezes to a deeper cramping sensation that went into my hips and thighs. I made sure to go to the post office and mail that package I’d been procrastinating on mailing. The clerk asked when I was due and got flustered when I told her I thought I was already in labor. I picked up Cillian from school like any other day and messaged my sisters about the change I was feeling. I didn’t mention anything to Jon, however, because I knew this was prodromal labor and could last for a while still. I didn’t want him to be overly concerned. Around 4:30, Jon came to where I was playing with C to ask about dinner. He paused when he looked at me and asked what was going on. I tried to play off the surge I was currently feeling but he insisted, “There is something going on with your face.” I laughed and told him I was pretty sure I was in labor. He got so giddy hearing that! We went about our normal routine – Playtime, dinner, tending to my plants, bath and bedtime with C, and our Netflix show. The surges were mild but I would sway, move, and chant through them. “I open. I soften” was my early labor affirmation. When I would start chanting, C would say, “Another power surge?” and he even started chanting with me. At 7pm I gave my midwife a heads up that I was pretty sure things would progress that night.
After our show, we decided to go to bed. My surges were 12 minutes apart, about 45 seconds long, and just intense enough to make me vocalize and need to focus on my breath. I knew they needed to get stronger and closer together before I called anyone. Jon kept reminding me that our midwife, Angie, was an hour away after a phone call and wanted to make sure I was being honest about how far along I thought I was. My concern was calling her and having this (what I thought was) early labor continue for over ten hours while she stood watch. So we went to bed.
Of course, I couldn’t sleep as the space between surges was just too short and they were just strong enough to make me uncomfortable but I labored in bed until a stronger surge forced me to get up. I took a shower hoping the water would help but I was already feeling weak and couldn’t find a comfortable but supported position in the shower so I moved to the couch. I told Jon to try to rest while he could. He couldn’t. He says he tried but he just listened to my chanting and moaning get louder and louder. My affirmation was now, “Everything moves down. Baby moves down.” Again he asked about giving Angie the call. As he put it, we are paying for her services and if I needed her to stand by and watch for peace of mind, that is what she would do. I had been timing my surges and they were about every five minutes lasting for a minute, the official “labor” timing but they just didn’t feel intense enough. I wasn’t able to talk through them but I was able to chant and move. I kept thinking of all the stories where the midwife says, “If the laboring mother calls me herself, it’s probably too early.” and since I was considering calling her myself, it MUST have been too early. I text her instead and she said it was completely up to me if I wanted her there.
At 12:30, I told her I was ready for her to come. I was back in bed when she arrived an hour later, just trying to rest in between surges as my whole body felt weak. I didn’t even notice Angie come in at 1:30 and set up everything she would need until she asked to check my blood pressure. It was all so peaceful and undisturbed. A stronger surge hit and I said I needed to get out of the bed. Jon asked if I wanted to get into the bathtub, the place I intended to birth this baby and the space I had prepared but nothing about that seemed appealing to me. I trusted my body to know what it needed. I asked for a pillow on the floor so I could lean over the bed. In between surges, I rested my upper body on the bed and during, I moved downward while Jon held my hands from the bed offering support and something for me to pull again. Still, in between surges I talked to Jon and Angie. I said I felt so lazy in between and perhaps I should be working harder. I thought I was still in early stages. Angie never checked my cervix or disturbed my labor in anyway. When she wanted to check the baby’s heart rate with a hand-hand doppler, she got down on the floor behind me.
At this point, I must have hit transition because the details are fuzzy to me. I know that my affirmations changed to “It’s not pain. This brings the baby.” Each time a surge would hit, I would call for Jon. He was always right there, ready to hold my hands again. A few contractions came back to back. I started to doubt myself and I said I wasn’t ready, I couldn’t do another contraction yet. Jon reminded me that I could and I would. I affirmed to myself that I could, that I was strong. “If I just breath, my body will do this.” was what I chanted the rest of labor. I also said, “I can’t breath.” “He’s too big” “He doesn’t fit” “I can’t do this” multiple times and once a mom reaches that point of doubt, she is about to meet her baby.
At 2:30, after one very strong surge, my body gave an extra push and a grunt and my water broke. I felt relief but I was also surprised that I was here already. My body immediately started moving baby down, I could feel it. I think I said, “He’s coming.” When he started to crown, I wanted counter pressure. Angie encouraged me to reach down and feel my baby myself. I birthed his head right into my own hands.
At this point in physiological birth, once the head is born, contractions pause. For me, time froze. There almost wasn’t any pain, just the overwhelming sensation of my baby. “I don’t know what to do.” I said but no one responded. They just let my body do exactly what it needed. Later Angie said she watched as my baby’s head rotated perfectly to allow the shoulders to be born. When the next surge came, instinctively, I rose up to my knees and I felt my baby leave my body. I collapsed on to the bed and said, “We did it, he’s here.” Then I reached down and took my baby from the midwife between my legs and stared at him in my lap. Jon says Angie basket caught him behind me.
At 2:58 am, on August 25th, Dempsey Andre was roared into the world. After a few minutes, I climbed into bed. The placenta came out twenty minutes later. C woke up around 4, some how he’d slept through the whole thing. To see Cillian meet his younger brother for the first time, only hours after birth was everything my heart needed.
Xo Beka
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