Miscarriage* Quotes for comfort and healing during pregnancy loss.
The loss of a child at any stage is so hard and it leads to the deepest of grief. There is nothing that can make the pain go away and nothing that will give you back what you lost. But, if you have found yourself deep in it, I want you to know you are not alone here. There is support to be had and love to be shared. We are the worst club with some of the best members.
I want to share some miscarriage quotes that resonated with me as I was first entering the grief of losing our second son.
Take what you need, mama.
1. Taking what you need isn’t selfish, it is self awareness.
My therapist told me this in the weeks after our loss. If I needed to cry, I needed to allow myself time and space to cry. If I needed time alone, or to set a boundary, or if I needed to take space for myself, I needed to take it.
2. Grief is just love with nowhere else to go.
The deeper the love, the deeper the grief. These feelings are not bad or wrong or misplaced. These feelings of grief are all the energy you had to love your baby coming out in the only way they now can.
3. There are moments that mark our lives and we realize things will never be the same. Time is now divided into two parts – Before and After this.
Before and After Events. This idea changed my mindset. I stopped fighting to get back to who I was before and I accepted my new self in the after.
4. It doesn’t get easier, you get stronger.
Some will say time makes it less heavy or that time will heal the wound. That might be true for them but for me, and maybe for you also, time won’t make it any less. You simply learn to accommodate this into your new normal.
5. The thing about feelings is they demand to be felt
And they don’t give you warning. They come knocking whenever they want and it’s not always convenient. Ignoring, invalidating, or shutting these feelings out won’t resolve them. They will always be there, demanding to be felt.
6. It’s ok if this hurts forever.
This mind shift set saved me. I was struggling to make the pain go away. I thought I couldn’t move on until it did. Then I realized, it was ok to carry the pain with me. It is part of me forever, the part of myself that loves my baby feels this pain.
7. I will not hide my grief as I did not hide my love.
Whether your loss was before you announced your pregnancy or after, your love for this baby wasn’t secret and it was big. There was no denying it. Your grief can be just as big. There is no shame in grief. This is how you honor your baby.
8. A person is a person no matter how small.
This quote hits different when there are some who don’t view what you lost as a person. I’m here to tell you, they were. They existed, they matter, and they will forever be a part of you, no matter how small they were.
9. You will forever be my favorite What If.
What if – a statement so full of possibility and hope. Also so full of loss and uncertainty. Even now, two years later, I think what if… But I choose to hold on to that What If because my baby exists there.
10. Grief comes in waves. All we can do is learn to ride them.
Those waves don’t give you warning. They just swell when they are ready. Sometimes they crash over you with a power that threatens to drown you and sometimes they gently lift you with them, carrying you farther from the shore. Let them come. Don’t fight them. Wait for them to subside and then move forward from where you are.
I am so sorry that you have found yourself here, searching this space for words of comfort. And yet, I am so glad that I could be here waiting for you. So many where here before me, waiting with open arms to hold me through this time and now it’s my turn to do the same.
If you are needing support, a place to share your story, or just an understanding shoulder to cry on, join me on instagram as I create space for all parents who are grieving the loss of a child.
XO Beka
*I never refer to Miles’s death as a miscarriage when I speak or write about it. But sometimes it’s the easier phrase to use for others to understand.
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