When I saw those two pink lines, I signed a sign of relief. Finally, I could stop worrying about how to schedule an appointment for “Secondary Infertility.” I felt giddy. I decided to wait and do a big surprise for Jon’s birthday. Finding out I was pregnant after 12 months of trying, the day before his birthday was just too perfect! I tucked the test away and went to start the coffee. Cillian wandered out of his room all bleary eyed with an adorable case of bed-head and I swept him up into some snuggles, breathing in his sweet scent and imagined life with two tiny humans to love.
I couldn’t help myself, I told him there was a baby in my belly. He’d been asking for well over a year if he could have a baby because so-and-so at school has two babies! His excitement was palpable!
“Right now?” he asked, “Did someone ‘bring-ed’ it?”
I had to laugh and tell him that I guess daddy brought the baby.
“Did you eat it in your mouth and then it went into your belly?” Oh, the innocence of children. He knows the path to his belly is through his mouth. Of course I told him no. It would have been a simple explanation, but I try not to lie to my kid about how our bodies work. His quizzical eyes drifted over my stomach and down the length of my body.
“Did you put it up your butt?” He squealed and giggled. I mean, the question just made sense. Leave it to kids to find the most logical explanation for everything! Again I laughed and told him no. I wasn’t going to lie to him, but I also didn’t want to give him more information than he was looking for. Then he asked,
“How did the baby get in there?” I told him the truth using real words and a nonchalant tone and said, “Mommies have a special place called a vagina and the baby goes in through the vagina and into the uterus to grow.” That answer seemed to satisfy his curiosity because he followed it up with, “I”m hungry!”
I waited all of four minutes before telling C to go tell his daddy about the baby in my belly. Just like the last time I held a positive pregnancy test, Jon was half asleep and his reactions was, “Huh? What? Really?” No fanfare or big reveal, just a room full of love and sleepy faces.
Here’s the thing about kids and how to tackled the often dreaded, “Where do babies come from?” question – they ask in complete innocence and only out of curiosity. To them, nothing about bodies or making babies is dirty or shameful or even sexual. I mean, this kid drops his pants at the table to show me something on his leg without a second’s hesitation. He needs to learn that is not really appropriate, yes, but he doesn’t need to learn that bodies are shameful things to hide away or that some parts are not to be spoken of. Elbows and knees and penises and vulvae are all just parts that make our bodies the wonderful creations that they are.
So when C later asked where daddy got the baby that he brought me, I didn’t tell him stories about giant birds or special hugs, although he has seen Dumbo and is well aware of how storks spend their time. I simply told him that daddies have seeds and mommies have eggs and when they get together in mommy’s belly, that seed grows into a baby. Again he found this answer to be 100% satisfactory! I didn’t have to skirt around the answer or make up words and scenarios to keep things “clean” because there is nothing dirty or wrong about the way babies are conceived. No, I didn’t have the sex talk with my three year old. He didn’t ask about that. He simply asked bout where this baby that he’s been asking for for months came from.
He has since asked how the baby will come out and how big it will be and why I haven’t been feeling good. He’s careful no to sit on my stomach for fear of hurting the baby. He’s promised to help change the baby’s diaper and give him milk when he cries and share his favorite toys with him. We look at pictures of babies in utero and talk about how tiny the baby is right now and how he’ll come out around C’s birthday. Cillian knows nothing about babies and pregnancy except the beautiful age-appropriate truth of where babies comes from and how incredible mommies are for the things they can do.
XO Beka
tianiangelahibbert says
This is amazing news! Congratulations!