Full disclosure, the majority of this post is from the preacher on Sunday. It is his words expanded with my thoughts because as he spoke, he spoke right to my soul. He opened with a story about his newborn second child and how little sleep he and his wife are getting. Hello, mom feels!
Isn’t it true that we do not realize how much sleep we need until we are not getting that sleep? Seriously, I thought I did not need a lot of sleep, and then I had a kid who hated sleep. I realized that I am the person who needs eight or more hours of sleep to feel human. Some people do not need as much, and other people cannot handle that much. It makes them sleep-drunk and hungover if they sleep more than six hours. It just depends on the person.
Parents are incredible though. We can adjust to almost anything. Before you know it, your normal is a broken six hours of sleep and you are still doing just fine!
But today, I am talking about rest. Rest is different from sleep.
Sleep is for our bodies. Rest is for our souls.
We all think we can handle everything until something comes up that we just cannot handle. We tend to keep going until suddenly, we are burned out and cannot go anymore. The comparison game of social media is what often catches us up in pushing to do more! It is always calling for us to be better, push harder, keep up, be more woke! But often it does nothing to awaken our soul.
Look, I love social medial, obviously! I am using it to reach others, build a business, and share nuggets of gold like this one. So yes, use social media if you want to, but do not let it use you.
Everything on social media pushes us to go. To hustle. To accomplish. To work! We as a generation are doing more than generations before us. We are busier and more accomplished. We all have goals and passions and side hustles. We love to show everyone else what we can do. You would think that we would be happier than ever to be so accomplished, but instead anxiety and panic are higher than ever. Anxiety affect 40 million adults – that is 1 in 5 – in the US alone. That number is staggering, but it is directly related to our desire to go all the time.
We are pushing ourselves past the point of production. We are going beyond doing our best work and moving into burn out. The reason is, we have no rhythm of rest.
A rhythm of rest was put in place by our Creator and we can see it all over nature. Winter, for example, is a season of rest. Most things go dormant. Bears hibernate. Plants stop growing. God instructed farmers to give their land a rest every seven years so they would not deplete the nutrients in the soil and start getting less bountiful harvests. US labor laws even say that after working so many hours, our employers are required to give us so many hours of time off. It is a simple cycle of rest.
Work, work, work, work, work, rest.
Even most workout programs have a built in rest day or three! Those days are not just lazy days that only the truly committed push through. It is a necessary part of production and growth. If we push too hard, we are going to start to fatigue and fail and do more harm to our bodies than good. If we do not take the time to rest, we cannot continue to work hard.
With the anxiety that is taking over the US today, of course there are a lot of chemical reasons and genetic cases that need professional help, but most of us, myself included, could combat our anxiety if we just accept a cycle of rest. If we just stopped hustling for a little while and focused on truly resting to rejuvenate and awaken our souls.
Our souls have this desire to rest. But how do we find it?
Spending time with yourself.
I am talking about active self care. I feel like the phrase “Self Care” has gotten a little stale today because everyone is using it but no one actually knows how to do it. What exactly does time with and for yourself look like? It is not just being nicer to yourself, which is important, but not always enough. I am talking about actually setting aside time just for yourself to be with yourself. Time alone increases empathy, productivity, and creativity. It is an actual rest for your soul.
Think about what brings your joy. Is it reading a book? Watching a movie? Drinking tea? Sitting outside? Taking a nap? You need that! Maybe you cannot afford it every day, I cannot either. But once a week? Surely you can find that time once a week to do what makes you feel rested. Something that will make you know yourself better. Something that shows yourself how much you love yourself. It always sounds selfish to say “Love yourself” but, honestly, you need to know how to love yourself before you can truly love others. Once a week, carve out time to love yourself. It does not have to be a whole day or even hours on hours, just enough time to feel like you have come to a point of rest.
Spending time with others.
This is another of those things that depends on your personality. Extroverts need this more than introverts. Once you start spending time with yourself, you will learn how much time you need, or do not need, with others. But this is not just time on a crowded bus or time with your coworkers. In order for your time with others to be rest for your souls, it needs to be face to face time with people that you love without distractions. Yes, that includes ours phones. It needs to be quality time where we connect and share and learn about each other. But it also has to be with the right people.
Do you have those groups that you often find yourself in and when you leave them you just feel exhausted? I do not mean exhausted as in we-went hard-and-had-a-blast-and-it-was-so-worth-it physically exhausted. I mean emotionally and mentally exhausted. Maybe you were constantly worried about what they were thinking about you. Or you felt like you had to watch what you were saying every time you opened your mouth. When you left, you second guessed everything about your time together. Those people are not your people. Those are not the ones that time with will bring rest to your soul.
Rest for your soul will only be found in time with people who make you feel safe, and good enough, and heard, and loved. Make time for those people.
Spending time with God
This one. This one might not feel like it is for you. Maybe you are not religious. Maybe you are not spiritual. Maybe you do not believe in things like God. I do not want this post to only appeal to other Christians because I think everyone could benefit from a rhythm of rest regardless of beliefs, but this is the one that will not let you down. You might let yourself down. You might not find rest in your alone time. Your mind might race, and you might not be able to quiet it. Others might let you down. Even the ones we truly love might leave us feeling exhausted and burned out. But God will never let you down. Time with Him will never NOT bring you rest. God is the one who instructed the rhythm of rest for our souls.
Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
God tells us how to find rest. It is in Him. Praying, meditating, and communicating with Him.
Prayer often sounds intimidating. I remember as a kid I would pray and use phrases that I had heard but I had no idea what they meant. Prayer does not need to be complicated. I often tell my husband, God has already heard every dirty word that comes out of my mouth. He is so not surprised anymore. We can, in fact, talk to God like we talk to our best friend. We do not have to speak in some lofty way for Him to hear us. All we have to do is open a dialogue with Him. If you do not know how to start, start with thankfulness. Start by appreciating what you have and recognizing where that came from. Do you have a body that moved today? Be thankful. Did you wake up in a bed under a roof? Be thankful. Did you fight with your healthy children over a nutritious breakfast? Be freaking thankful!
After that, stop and listen. Meditate on what you are getting back from your prayers.
Prayer is us taking to God. Meditation is sitting back and listening.
Remember that prayer is a communication. It is meant to be a two way exchange. That sounds silly, because we do not (or rather, should not) hear a literal voice coming from the sky. Just listen to what He is telling you and that will cultivate this cycle of rest.
Instead of worrying about being so woke, try to awaken your soul by finding a rhythm of rest.
XO Beka
Danielle says
This post spoke to me! Thank you for sharing.